Most people “look for” happiness.
I mean really look for it. You google for it on the internet, you seek it in
money and material possessions, you try out drugs, hairstyles and partners just
to make sure it is not hiding there, and you will throw your last penny after
long haired solutions that promise to make you happy. Then, once you realize
that it didn’t work. you pick yourself up and start looking for it all over
again. Why do we struggle so much to find happiness? And why do we so often
find misery instead in our quest to be happy? The answer lies in the age old
cliche of the person looking for his reading glasses all over the place while
they are perched on his head all the time.
The laws of intent, manifestation
and attention explain that what we “tend to” tends to manifest itself. Is it
possible that our search for happiness is really an excuse to rationalize our
circumstances, that our search for happiness is ultimately really a search for
misery? I say this from personal experience after having spent a third of my
life searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in all its
reported haunts, from drugs to sex, wealth to asceticism and from self help
books to helping others. It was only when I woke up to the fact that joy,
contentment, peace and meaning were not somewhere out there for me to discover,
but were right here within me, in the present, that I understood that the first step
in being happy was to stop pursuing it.
Happiness is natural
If you can strip your thinking of
all that your life has burdened you with, the beliefs, the expectations, and
the judgements, and just look at yourself as you were born, as you were
created, you will be able to see the joyous celebration that your existence
truly is. Whether you are a giggling teenager, a blushing newlywed or a
cackling grandmother, your natural state of being is one of happiness. In many
senses, each one of us were conceived at the moment when our parents were
experiencing one of the greatest earthly joys known. Your entire journey has
been centered around contentment, protection and abundance. Our natural state
of being does not understand unhappiness beyond physical want and discomfort.
It is only social conditioning that teaches us to be unhappy and critical. Look
within and tap into the natural state of happiness that is yours by default.
Try it now. Smile. See?
Happiness is appreciation
If you were asked to sensibly
list out what would make you happy, your list would broadly contain two kinds
of items. The first is a set of events and circumstances that are external to
you, out of your control and perhaps in the past, that you wish could be
changed. The other will be a set of things, people or circumstances that are
not there in your life but you wish were there. This is how it is with most
people, “we look before and after, and pine for what is not.” The truly happy
person does not have a wishlist on which his happiness depends, since he is too
busy enjoying himself with what life has to offer him.
Pining for “what is not” is just
another way of not being thankful for what is, for not appreciating the gifts
that you are blessed with. Even in the most challenging of circumstances, you
are abundantly and most appropriately provided for. If you are down in the
dumps and nothing seems to be going right for you, look at your determination
and willingness to try harder, to not give in, and appreciate it, for without
this gift, you would have been lost forever. Look at your life now, and
mentally list out all you have to be appreciative of. As you try to put
a happiness value to each of the gifts that you have, you will see that they
are far more important than you had ever imagined.
Happiness is the journey
Most self help gurus and even
spiritual thought leaders describe happiness as the result of aligning yourself
with principles of right living. They make it out to be some sort of a prize
you get because you did things the right way. As a result, most people miss out
on the beauty of life, which lies in living. Happiness is not a result, but is
right living itself. The act of doing things in accordance with universal
principles of compassion, fairness, and love is in itself happiness. This is
where happiness and joy differ from gratification and pleasure. Gratification
and pleasure are the result of doing something.
In my case, I spent years reading
up on books, listening to lectures, and practicing breath control and body
contortions that promised to make me happy. At the end of the journey, I was
left with a brain full of information, I would even call it knowledge, but I
had missed out on the joy of this journey of discovery. In my obsession with
equipping myself to “possess” the happiness that this beautiful journey
promised as its destination, I had ignored the richness of my evolution.
Each of us are exactly where we
need to be in our journey at this point in time. Look at where you are in your
journey right now. As you start to see that if you needed to be anywhere else,
you would, and that if you are not where you think you wanted to be, it is only
because you are not ready as yet, allow your face to break into a smile.
Happiness is harmony
All through my school days, I
longed to grow up so that I would not have to study and be told what to do. As
I grew up and became independent, started working and setting up home, I longed
for my carefree days as a child. As I struggled to find material success, I
longed for financial freedom. Once I found financial freedom, I longed for the
lightness of asceticism. One of my favorite “poems” was shared with me by Frank
Vaz, a personal transformation facilitator who I am indebted to. It went - Man
is a fool, when it is hot, he wants it cool; when its cool, he wants it hot; he
always wants what is not. It sounded cool and true when he shared it with me
many years back, and as I have grown over the decades as a person, so has its
relevance and meaning.
As with good and evil, darkness
and illumination, male and female, the experience of life is one of harmony
between the desirable and the repulsive. Neither can exist without the other,
and their desirability and repulsiveness is determined only by your interpretation. When you realize that all
entities around you are ultimately a harmonious balance of opposites, that the
heights of godliness and the depths of depravity are contained within each one
of us, you will find it easier to let go of your revulsions, fears and
judgements. When you see that all that stands between you and true happiness is
your self - your interpretations and expectations, you will be able to step
aside and let the light of understanding flood your being. This is not a
rejection of your revulsions, fears, and judgements, but just an
acknowledgement that moves them out of the way of the light of the truth. After
all, your misery is for you to keep, isn’t it?
Happiness is our natural
birthright, but we often get confused about what it truly means. Happiness is
not a life without struggle or a state in which nothing undesirable happens. It
is the ability to see the wholeness of things, to accept humbly that which
instructs us through pain and to respond to the call of life to participate in
it. It is in the ability to cleanse your perception so that you see with your
heart, the ability to follow your heart even when it might seem that you will
be the only one on your journey, and the ability to be grateful even at times
of great adversity. Happiness is being a student, a teacher, a mate, a child, a
lover and a parent, and honoring the multitudes that we are all made of. If you
have enjoyed reading this post as much as I have enjoyed writing it, it is time
you got back to the party. Have a great life!
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Regular visitors might be wondering about the style of this post. It is the result of a writing exercise I undertook to try and imitate some of my blogging role models. If you cannot guess who I was trying to imitate, it is only proof of my poor craftsmanship in the shadow of greatness.
Thank you Shubho for leaving comments on my blog. I liked it very much.
ReplyDeleteYou described the meaning of the word in all its soul. Nicely written...
ReplyDeleteHappiness in its spirit!
Beautiful, happiness indeed is giving yourself wings and setting yourself free...
ReplyDeleteI am leaving this space with a smile on my face.. Thank you :)
This is a very well stated and interesting description of happiness. My own thoughts are that happiness comes from the little things in life that comfort you. No matter how bad your day gets, you can turn to one of those little things and life gets all better somehow. So even when times are rough, you can still be happy. Don't get me wrong, those things don't always have to be items you purchased, some times those things are a simple, small hug from a loved one or something similar.
ReplyDeleteAn engaging post. Thanks for sharing. I have started pondering.
ReplyDeleteA peaceful mind will always find way for happiness on its own....Satisfying one's material needs in this world will always bring misery. 'Happiness is the journey' I totally agree with that point, my friend!!!
ReplyDeleteFrom: www.sriramnivas.com
I am glad that all of you found this post of value. Arti, Saru, WB, Sriram, I follow your blogs keenly, and it is really a huge deal to have your thoughts on this page. Padmanabh, Rohit, thanks for dropping by and leaving your comments.
ReplyDelete"The truly happy person does not have a wishlist......" Loved this line. very deep and meaningfull post.thanks for helping me understand life a bit more. Great post.
ReplyDeleteLoved going through it. Yes, happiness lies within ourself, quite inspirational article. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rekha and Akash.
ReplyDeleteIt is true that we all crave happiness but do not know where to look for it.Your post is thought provoking.
ReplyDeleteI think you will like my poet "Happiness" http://jeeteraho.blogspot.com bcoz we think along the same lines.
thought provoking post, bit lengthy but you have explained this so called abstract concept so well
ReplyDelete& that poem by Frank - bang on :) that really is the case isnt it!
Beautifully written. A couple of months ago, I did a major realization, which allowed me to realize that Bliss is our Natural State, and how only our fears are the root cause of all evil and suffering.
ReplyDeleteYour blogpost, perfectly describes what everyone need to know.
PS!
The good thing about Happiness is that it's INFECTIOUS ... ;)
http://illuminatedbuddha.wordpress.com/2011/12/04/bathtub-buddha/
A quest for happiness is a proof of its lack. There cannot be a sadder confession. But then, deer have always looked without for musk.
ReplyDeleteDagny
What a perfect example to drive the point home! Thanks, Dagny.
Delete