Beef. With. Beef.

To make up for the absence of the traditional November post, here is a fabricated one.


Hearing about revolts against a state chief by someone reportedly planning to hop party lines to join another state chief who enjoys food as long as it is oily, spicy and meat with lashings of beverage to wash it down with. Even when fasting for good causes. The catch is that the issue in question is beef. The trouble is that beef as in cow slaughtered for purpose of eating or making belts and wallets out of is legally permitted only in a few states out of the many in the country. This makes the entire furore over beef eating as an offense in states with strict laws and highly regulated animal slaughter industries somewhat self defeating if not clearly fabricated, from the perspectives of religion as well as animal rights. And we haven’t started talking about carbon yet. Or the plaque in our collective arteries. But then, sitting in the city of pearls and politesse, where kebab, biryani, roti and a tala hua are the order of the day, beef with beef gets beefy sometimes.

I wholeheartedly support the movement against beef. If we all can take this brave step of ridding our selves of complaints and grievances, we will be creating a truly wonderful world. What way better to do this than by making having beef (or being the cause for someone else to have beef) punishable? This will be executed by a futuristic, Minority-Reportish thought police. I’m guessing.

Social media flotsam. (Don't know who took this picture but will be glad to credit if you let me know. )

So you wake up in the morning, realize it is Monday, and woosh! Charged under section so and so for having beef, first with the boss, then with all of commerce, and then with his own wife in the early hours of... Or you look at your tax calculations, and excuse me, that was like an admission to a few decades of beef. Off we go. To that which is and that which may yet be.

Other than beef with beef as something not befitting a nonviolent compassionate way of life, I have big beef with a whole other lot of things. Other than beef with beef that is. And carbon and grilled food. Resistance to low-rise urban expansion for example. Apathy that government after government display towards basic welfare of the people. Intrusion of commerce into your dinnertime television and your morning dump.

So banning beef should be seen as larger than a ban on a food or religious icon or a victory for vegetarianism (what else can it be called?) but seen as a ban on begrudging our lives. It was about time someone did it and without looking at tempting numbers. Like the air quality improvement program rock and rolling out in Delhi this winter.

Punjagutta is a rapidly shrinking oasis in our land, and not the best place to pick beef at. Perhaps at Nampally or on the other side of the river if that direction suits you, or else Toli Chowki. Not that ox or buffalo aren’t precious. We have laws that protect them all the way into high offices. Knock at the door…

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