The Larger Lunacy

Much of what is put out here is stuff that makes you stop and think awhile about where we are headed as a civilization. Or at least, so I tell myself. So I try and vary the pace a little sometimes in the name of blogger social responsibility. They say failures are the pillars. The successes lie above. And yes, I have heard of Stephen Leacock!


I tried my hand at humor a couple of times, but it turned out to resemble a botched liposuction procedure. So I thought it was better left to the professionals - our politicians. I tried the other extreme - dark satire, but the corporations beat me to it by miles. Who can beat a vibrator with your newspaper? I tried doing plain vanilla informative posts, but it seems that I need to qualify for a reservation quota to be able to do that. I must admit that I have not tried tech and fashion often enough, since every time I think of something to write about, it turns out no one is "doing that stuff" any more. The only avenue left to me is plagiarism, or as close to it as my conscience permits. Damned thing, this conscience business. Like an appendix!


Here are some things that showed up in my inbox, and it made me smile. Not the kind that will get you arrested. Not the kind that will change the world either. There aren't too many of those things in the media these days, so I thought I would share it with you. Have fun.

This turned up in my inbox too. Google it yourself, as Wallace Stevens might have said.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. Now it's syncing.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst kind.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.


I do not know the source of these "progressive" one-liners. If you do, please let me know. Next time around, it is going to be elephant jokes. After all, this blog is committed to building a more loving and compassionate, and possibly even fair, society. I wouldn't blame you if your mouse is heading towards the unsubscribe button. I wouldn't blame you if you share this on your social networks either.  And I wouldn't blame you if your blood boils at how the planet is being raped. Talking of rape reminds me, Subho's Jejune Diet now has a facebook page which you can join by clicking on the like button on the top right. Not only does it torment you with updates from my work, but also showcases the best of what I come across in the blogosphere. Do join the larger lunacy.

24 comments:

  1. Had a good laugh reading the one liners. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing about whatever catches your fancy. Just say it the way you do and I will keep reading.

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    Replies
    1. When I started putting stuff out on the blog, I didn't know anything about how it works, and I would copy entire articles and post them. Not a lot of that exists on this blog now, but this was a throwback to those days.

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  2. This post made my day. It's good to start off the day with a smile. Now I am going to take a bag of fertilizer and throw it on people so they need to grow up.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, man. I smiled a lot when I read the stuff that I posted here, and I just wanted to pass it on.

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  3. Pretty cool compilation Subho.

    Thanks for sharing

    I'd have to go with 'I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me' as my fav in the list

    Cheers

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  4. As for as I can remember, some of those jokes have been floating around ever since Internet crawled out of its pram. I loved them again nonetheless. My favourite is the one that I found in the body of the post:

    I tried doing plain vanilla informative posts, but it seems that I need to qualify for a reservation quota to be able to do that.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Umashankar. You have latched on to the crux of the post.

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  5. Having one of the not-so-good days and this post helped me brighten up a bit...Thanks Subhorup :)

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    Replies
    1. Welcome, Jayashree. Hope your days have turned brighter.

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  6. fundu one liners :) had fun reading them.

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  7. I think this demands a sequel.

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    Replies
    1. And a sequel there shall be! Thanks, Shovon.

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  8. Lol! Great way to brighten up the day indeed! Thank you!

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  9. I liked the post better than the one-liners and if I do 'like' the page, I hope to get more of that thing, ok? Remember, I am the blog bully here :)

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    Replies
    1. One must always be careful what one wishes for, Zephyr. I had no clue that the next post I would write would really be about elephant jokes. Am so glad that my blog has a special place in the bully's radar.

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  10. on a serious note is that pic of CHE in india, when did he come here ..

    but the post made me smile and I loved reading .. especially the name given to your IPAD :)

    Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. 1959. http://www.frontlineonnet.com/fl2708/stories/20100423270805900.htm

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  11. those one liners were really good. :)

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  12. I'm planning to adopt them all and pass them off as my own.

    ReplyDelete

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