I tried my hand at humor a couple of times, but it turned out to resemble a botched liposuction procedure. So I thought it was better left to the professionals - our politicians. I tried the other extreme - dark satire, but the corporations beat me to it by miles. Who can beat a vibrator with your newspaper? I tried doing plain vanilla informative posts, but it seems that I need to qualify for a reservation quota to be able to do that. I must admit that I have not tried tech and fashion often enough, since every time I think of something to write about, it turns out no one is "doing that stuff" any more. The only avenue left to me is plagiarism, or as close to it as my conscience permits. Damned thing, this conscience business. Like an appendix!
Here are some things that showed up in my inbox, and it made me smile. Not the kind that will get you arrested. Not the kind that will change the world either. There aren't too many of those things in the media these days, so I thought I would share it with you. Have fun.
|This turned up in my inbox too. Google it yourself, as Wallace Stevens might have said.|
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. Now it's syncing.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst kind.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
I do not know the source of these "progressive" one-liners. If you do, please let me know. Next time around, it is going to be elephant jokes. After all, this blog is committed to building a more loving and compassionate, and possibly even fair, society. I wouldn't blame you if your mouse is heading towards the unsubscribe button. I wouldn't blame you if you share this on your social networks either. And I wouldn't blame you if your blood boils at how the planet is being raped. Talking of rape reminds me, Subho's Jejune Diet now has a facebook page which you can join by clicking on the like button on the top right. Not only does it torment you with updates from my work, but also showcases the best of what I come across in the blogosphere. Do join the larger lunacy.